Finding Grace

Summer is here and to say I am relieved is an understatement. These last few months have been trying. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted. I feel disconnected from my family. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me. I see them every day, but I’m not present. It’s been like I’m on the outside looking in. I was trying, but I couldn’t quite get that connection that I long for.

It’s been hard to see those moments that matter because I’ve been focused on just surviving. On putting one foot in front of the other and just getting through the day. Get the kids dressed, make sure they eat breakfast, gather up our stuff and head out the door, only to get in the car and think wait did we brush hair and teeth… whatever we don’t have time, and off we go to another day. Coming home isn’t much different. Homework, dinner, bath and bed. Followed by the endless stream of them coming out of their rooms for various reasons when I really just want quiet.  

That’s been hard for me, knowing they crave my attention and lacking the energy to give them 100%. Life isn’t always easy and giving ourselves grace while we navigate our valleys does not come naturally. We judge ourselves harshly and expect to be on top all the time. Or at least I do.

So how do we handle the low places in our everyday life? How are we supposed to see past our chaos and embrace the beauty and connection of each day (let alone document it) when we can hardly see our way to the next cup of coffee?

Step one: breath.

Seems like a simple thing to do, but the valleys of life are often times places of suffocation. Not physically, but emotionally, mentally, and creatively. In the middle of your overwhelm stop, literally, stop, and take three deep breaths. Brains don’t function without oxygen.

Step two: Take a timeout.   

It’s okay to take time for yourself. If you feel like it’s not, I’m giving you permission right now to take a timeout. The world won’t fall off its axis if you take an hour for yourself. I’m not sure what your perfect time-out looks like. Mine looks like a warm beach and a margarita, but that isn’t always possible. So I’ll settle for a good book, an iced mocha, and quiet.

Step three: Be easy on yourself

You know that grace I mentioned? Give yourself some. Let go of the need for perfection. Let go of the need to do all the things. Do the best you can with the energy you have and save the rest for another day.

In the end the valleys turn into peaks and the moments in between will turn into memories. Even if it’s a struggle, hold on to the time you get with those you love. Even when you feel like you don’t want to. Do it anyway. Snuggle on the couch. Make that hot chocolate on a rainy day. Sing like crazy in the car. Find the grace to be easy on yourself. Those feelings of connection will slowly start to creep back in. I promise. I’m starting to feel them already.