Emily Schultz : November 2015

25 November 2015

Just in time for December

I kind of feel like my kids in these pictures about Christmas this year (these images perfectly sum up most of their relationship and not much has change in the last few years). It's trying to get away from me and I'm being stubborn about holding on to it. I feel behind on my planning and organizing. Usually I have my Christmas cards done and ready to go. This year I'm all like cards what cards?  I know that if I'm feeling behind you might be too. So I thought, “Hey, I'm already doing the work I might as well share it.” I'm nice like that. 

Last year, my mom bought us a really fun advent Christmas tree. You know the kind with the doors and little compartments. I immediately searched Pinterest and planned the whole month. Only to figure out we didn't have time to do some of the things I thought would be so great. This left me feeling guilty and the kids disappointment. The ideas were really great, but to be painfully honest I’m not the super cutesy make all the things kind of mom. It’s okay though I’ve come to terms with it.

So this year I parred it down, focused on building memories and relationships while keeping it simple. Emphasis on simple.  I also tried to include the traditions that we already have. Some of my things might not work for your family, but it’s a great place to start. Plus it’ll save you some time.

Click here to get my personal 25 Days of Christmas activities. They are printable and I left some blank spaces for you to add your own.  I included a printable coloring page drawn by me to use as one of your daily activities. 

21 November 2015

Let me tell you a story

I broke down crying on the steps of Marsh Hall. She put her arms around me and told me everything would be okay. In that moment I wasn't sure I believed her, because really what did she know?  Honestly, I felt like my life was over. All the plans, all the dreams...gone. I walked in a daze to my apartment. My vision of life was left behind me in a trail of tears. There wasn't anyone to blame, but myself.

Standing at my window watching the world rushing by unaware of the drastic change happening to me, I called him. "I'm pregnant,"  I sobbed and collapsed on my bed. The silence was deafening. "Really?... It'll be okay," he said, "We've got this." I didn't believe him, because really what did he know?

Turns out they knew a lot. My life wasn't over, and while it hasn't been anything like I thought it'd be, it is all okay. It's hasn't been easy, but it's okay.  

Ten years ago this month I found out I was pregnant with my son.  I was a junior in college and getting ready to study abroad in Spain. My class load was full with 18 credits and being actively involved in my sorority kept me busy. I was a double major with a minor on track to graduate on time. One night changed all that.

Those first couple months were the most difficult.  I felt isolated. Those I thought were friends, turned their backs on me. Family members wouldn't speak to me. I felt stupid. My perception of self was rapidly shifting. I felt judged. I think that was the hardest to deal with, being judged. I was judging myself so harshly that other's words only added to the chaos in my head. However, I was accepted. I felt loved. I had support. Those last three outweighed all the rest. They kept me going.

I finished my junior year, had my son and got married all within three months of each other. Thanks to an amazing mom and a great husband I completed college. I know I couldn't have done it without them.  It wasn't easy, but it was okay.

Sometimes I look at my son and wonder what could have been. At the same time, I would never go back and change a single thing. He is tenacious, fearless, and daring. He tests my patience almost every day. He is kind, thoughtful, and silly. He makes me smile all the time. I can't wait to see the man he will become. 

Life isn't anything like I thought it'd be, but it's okay. And okay as it turns out is pretty darn great.